Sardar Collections - 2

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Tragedy in Punjab
Did you hear the news about the 747 that crashed in a cemetery in Punjab recently?
The Surd officials have so far retrieved 4000 bodies.

Did you hear about the latest tragedy in Punjab?
There was a terrible power failure in a large shopping mall, people were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours!

***********************************************************************************************Latest Invention!
Did you hear about the latest Surd invention? It's a solar-powered flashlight.

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But wait theres More!
A Surd was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued.
His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. "You mean you fought like that for 57 paise?" asked one of the muggers increduously. "Is that all you wanted?" moaned the Surd.
"I thought you were after the 400 Rupees in my shoe!"

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Sardar's Maruti 2



One fine morning found Sardarji driving his new Maruti (which he called marrruttti very affectionately). Sardarji was very happy to be the owner of a marrruttti and was singing to himself. Suddenly, he collided with the milkman. The accident caused much damage to the milkman's bicycle and our guy was furious. Sardarji ran towards him mumbling apologies, but our guy was not pacified. He shouted "Sardar, khoon ka badla khoon, torfoor ka badla torfoor". Saying so, he got a stout stick and starting hammering it on the windshield.

Sardarji was shocked and tried to take the stick from him, requesting him to stop. But the milkman (who was incidently very stout) got hold of the Sardarji and carried him ten metres away from his maruti. He drew a small circle near the road with the stick and asked Sardarji to stay inside and not move outside the circle, threatening him with his stout stick for better measure. Now our Sardarji was not very brave at heart and cooly went to stand in the circle.

Our milkman goes back to what he had left in the middle and starts on the headlights. After this, he starts on the rearlights. As soon as he breaks the first one, he hears a faint chuckle from the Sardarji. He breaks the other one, now he could distinctly hear the Sardarji laugh slightly. Enraged, he goes to the Sardarji and asks him why he was laughing. Sardarji says that it was nothing. He comes backs and resumes his assault on the poor maruti and as he goes on in this act, Sardarji's laughs become louder and louder. Enraged, the milkman increases his assault , but the laughs keep on increasing rather than decreasing.

At last, the milkman can't stop himself. He goes to the Sardar and taking him by the collar, asks him the reason for laughing. Our Sardar at first says it was nothing, but when the milkman starts getting really rough, he breaks down. He says "If I tell you, you will beat me". The milkman, now very curious, promises not to do anything if the Sardar tells him. Satisfied about his safety, our Sardarji says "You know, while u were engaged there, I came out of the circle seventeen times".

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What Speed Limit?

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five Sikhs - two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.

The driver Santa Singh, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Sir," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" Santa says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, Santa grinned and thanked theofficer for pointing out his error.

"But before I let you go, Sir, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? these people seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119." Said Santa

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