Short Jokes - 2

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railwaystation. Hari Singh
asks the clerk: Can I take this train to Ludhiana?

No, answers the Railway man.

Can I? asks Gani Singh.

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LONG FLIGHT

Sardarji calls Air India. How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?

Just a sec, comes an answer.Thank you. says the Sardarji and hangs up!

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COLOR TV
Sardarji is buying a TV. Do you have color TVs?

Sure.

Give me a green one, please

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Drunken Driving

Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just before the
trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel
on his table and shouted, Order, order.

Santa immediately responded, Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch
and soda.

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Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, Doctor,
will I be able to read after wearing glasses?
Yes, of course, said the doctor, why not!
Oh! How nice it would be , said Banta with joy, I have been illiterate for
so long.

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Sardar's Answering Machine

A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home
somewhere in Punjab, but two days later disconnected it because
he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe
nahin hai" (Idiot! He's taking the phone and saying he's not there.)


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One day Santa's neighbor visits him and sees Santa crying.
The neighbour: What had happened?
Santa: My mother died yesterday.
The neighbor made him some coffee and settled him down a little and then left. The next day the same neighbor
went back over to the house and found Santa crying again.
The neighbour: Why are you crying today Santa?
Santa: I just got off of the phone with my brother, his mother died too!

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Santa Singh: My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold.
Banta Singh: Does it work?
Santa Singh: I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath.


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Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for
five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws
them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away
as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator,
alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only
following the instructions - 'Answer in brief'." says the Sardar.

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Sardar and the donkey

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?"

The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding
the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

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Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, Doctor,
will I be able to read after wearing glasses?
Yes, of course, said the doctor, why not!
Oh! How nice it would be , said Banta with joy, I have been illiterate for
so long.


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Sardar and Binocular

While travelling a sardar was carrying a binocular with him.
But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.
A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying
binoculars.

The sardar simply said ...
"I am on my way to see a distant relative."


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Sardar and the lie detector


An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test
a lie detector.

The Englishman says:

"I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
And the machine is silent.

The American says:

"I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".

BUZZZZZZ,goes the lie detector.
"Allright, 8 hamburgers".
And the machine's silent.

The Sardarji says:

"I think...",
BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.



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Three police squads , The Scotland Yard police , The NY Police and
the Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force ward . The
judges lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission.He
who captures an adult Lion and brings it back alive in the fastest time will
be adjudged the best . First Scotland yard goes into the forest and comes
back in half an hour with a Lion all tied up . Then the NY police go in and
come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion .Lastly the sardar brigade
goes in . 15 minutes , half an hour , one hour goes and no sign of our
saradrjis .The judges give up and decide to search for them . They go into
the forest . After some searching , they find the sardarjis all excitedly
yelling near a tree . The sardarjis have tied up a big bear to a tree and one
of them is shouting , "Bol tu sher Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! "
(Admit that you are a lion!You are a lion).


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Sardar and the race



Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane.
Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no
parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives
and jump out of their planes.

First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a
parachute and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down.

Then the Hindu removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as
a parachute and he also floated down gently. Seeing this, the American
removed his shirt and pant and jumped out.

Unfortunately, they did not do well as a parachute and he began to fall
rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Hindu who said
" May Bhagwan help you". Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked
at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see!
You want a race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his
turban.
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I may not be perfect at what to do but perfect at what not to do!
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